THE CHANGE OF ME

Somewhere when you are having all the fun, letting go of time to distant shores and unaware what is to come next, the situation holds. I can distinctly remember the fourth semester of my college, i think my results had come out few weeks back and that day i was feeling quite low. It was 2 in the night and i was sitting atop the tanker stalled on our hostel's terrace. As usual i was all by my self there. Shouting out loud, cursing, crying, wanting to punish myself in toughest possible manner. I was not in my senses, i abused my self loud, felt pity that best set of parents had to bear such a kid.

I was angry with my self like hell. That was one phase which started and has dragged me deep now. This was my mood two years back.

This is just two years later. Scene may seem repetitive, however the mood, the individual and the outlook has swivelled drastically. My intention is to compare the mood on these two very nights. Today also i was sitting n walking on hostel terrace all alone. However i was calmer then all those previous times, contemplating of what has transpired and what is to come. I was more in a confused state rather of anger.Music flowed through my ears into my soul. I felt somewhere i have to garner that confidence of which i was so proud of two years back. I have lost my aggressive streak, the one which i see in the FE's bunch. I am not worried of what i have done. Just thinking a lot.

I love myself as a calm composed man.

All this has been written in my state of trans !!!!. It definitely helps to pour out thoughts by writing.